Project Unbreakable

While I love writing as humorously as I can, sometimes something comes along that just doesn't allow me to. This topic is one of those.  I appreciate those of you who will read this blog post in its entirety, since it is something I feel passionately about. This is my cause...

When I came back to triathlon, and set my sights on Ironman, my reasons were simple: fulfill a goal I had wanted since I was in college, and to prove those who said I couldn't do it wrong.  As I have been on this journey, I have begun to realize the enormity of what it's all about, and how it becomes more than just you, the individual.

Approximately 90,000 people race in Ironman each year.  That's about .02% of the US population - not 2%... but .02%.  Out of those, 1800 qualify for Kona. Scary stats.  To keep myself motivated while on restriction, I would watch the race recaps of as many races as I could stand.  It helped to remind me of why I loved this sport, and kept that desire burning until I could train again.

Then I started listening to the stories.  A lot of these people allowed Ironman to refine them, and in the process, gave them a platform to bring bigger issues to light.  Team Hoyt is probably the most famous, and anyone who can sit there stone faced while listening to how a father trained for an Ironman to be able to carry his disabled son the whole way just doesn't have a heart.  Then enter Blazeman, the man who completed an Ironman while suffering through ALS, and died a year later. He inspired others to race for ALS, in his memory.

There are countless stories of those who trained while on chemo pumps, or did lunges and walked the hospital corridors while going through cancer treatments to inspire other cancer patients and survivors, and went on to complete Ironman.  Military veterans who had amputations during their service race to motivate other amputee veterans to strive for a full life.  And then there is the firefighter who does the marathon portion of the Ironman in full gear to raise money for the children and families of those firefighters who bravely lost their lives in 9/11.

So what was my cause? I thought about this for a long time, wanted to pick something that would give a group of people a voice, one that may not have one. And then one day, I came across Project Unbreakable.

Project Unbreakable is the brain child of college student Grace Brown.  It is a website that allows victims of sexual assault/molestation to become survivors by finding their voice.  They write down what was said to them by their attackers, or those that they turned to after being attacked, and have a photo taken.  These are uploaded to the website in a gallery.  When before these brave women and men thought no one would listen and so they kept quiet, now they have a voice, and they can reclaim some of the power in themselves that was taken from them.

The statistics are scary, and saddening.  One out of every three girls, and one out of every five guys will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime - and those stats are skewed by the fact that those are only of the reported attacks.  Many go unreported out of fear of retaliation, shame, or blame.  For those who are brave enough to report it, they find themselves let down by a horrible legal system - fifteen out of sixteen rapists NEVER spend a day in jail.  Often, the police look at these situations as "he said/she said" and fail to do the proper investigations.  This leaves the victim even more traumatized, because they are not protected by the very system that should be protecting them, and the rapists go on to rape others, or sometimes worse, because they have become bolder by getting away with it.

Audrie Potts is a very sad example of the legal system failing to do its job.  Audrie, 16, was at a house party, and drank alcohol laced Gatorade.  When she passed out, three boys sexually assaulted her, and wrote lewd comments on her body, took pictures with their phones, and then text those pictures to their classmates. She did not remember the attack the next day, but after being shown the pictures being sent to the rest of the school, she committed suicide.  The two younger boys (16) got 30 days in juvenile detention that they got to serve on weekends so as not to disturb their weekly schedule, and the older boy (17) got a 45 day sentence in detention. Bad check writers, and those with unpaid parking tickets get stronger sentences.

Some people will say, "what was she doing there to begin with?" or"why was she drinking? That was stupid." Those are not the right questions to be asking.  Because no matter where she was, what she was drinking, or whether it was a smart move or not to be where she was, none of that adds up to her deserving being attacked and ridiculed the way she was. Perhaps the right question to be asking is, "what are we doing as a society that would allow these boys to think that doing this to a girl was acceptable?"

We teach our children as they get older not to take drinks from people they don't know (alcohol or otherwise), if they are going to drink have someone to watch over them, not go into dark areas alone at night, etc.  But what we fail to realize is that these attacks happen during the day, in parking lots and homes, and often by people we think we know and can trust.

I hope by promoting Project Unbreakable I can help more victims become survivors, and to help them find their voices.  The more victims charge their attackers, the more they speak up against the injustice done to them by the legal system, I believe there will be no choice but for there to be more action taken against these predators. We, as a community, also have to make sure not to blame these victims, be their support and comfort as they deal with something that will alter their lives forever.

I also hope to create awareness in those who it hasn't happened to; make them even more aware of their surroundings and who they are with, and to avoid any situation where a predator would have access to them. To ask parents to speak openly with their children about this topic, and to teach both genders the value of respecting one another.  If we all stand together, we can make a real difference in making sure our children/family members never become one of those awful statistics.

To that end, I am offering to carry the names of anyone who wishes to have a voice, anyone who wishes to become a survivor and no longer a victim, with me as I race in Ironman.  If you know of anyone who has had this happen to them, I will take their name - initials if they wish to stay anonymous. I will write all of the names on a card and carry it with me throughout the races. You can message me through Facebook, or email me at unbreakable1013@hotmail.com.

I wish to bring awareness to a topic that so many don't wish to talk about. Maybe we don't want to because if we talk about it, we have to admit this happens in our society - one we pride ourselves on being so much better than others. But it does happen...it happens to our daughters, our sons, our sisters and brothers. It happens to our mothers and fathers (there is no age limit on sexual assault). And the only way to make that change, the only way to make it stop, is to raise up our voices, to stop the silence. Stop looking at the victims in the "what did you do to deserve it" mentality, and to pressure the legal system to take stronger measures against those who shatter another person's life against their will.

Unshakable...unsinkable....unbreakable.  Survivors have a voice, and when they use it, they will find that while they are bent for a time, they have not been broken.

Here is the web address for Project Unbreakable:

www.projectunbreakable.tumblr.com

The Nail in My Shoe

Growing up on farmland, we were taught at a young age to be of hardy stock.  You fall, you get back up - don't expect anyone to coddle you.  I remember falling down the stairs of my grandmother's house and catching my wrist on a nail. It gave me a nasty two inch scar, but my mother washed it, wrapped it up and told me to go play with my sister - no doctor, no stitches, no tetanus shot. You had to be fairly close to death to go to the doctor.

So back in May, when a pain started flaring in my foot, it just made sense to me to ignore it, it would heal on it's own. Except it didn't.  I stretched, I rolled it with a hard ball, I iced it - nothing worked.  Going to the doctor just didn't cross my mind, even though it was said to me enough times. Turns out I'm kinda stubborn....go figure.

The pain was really bad during those last few weeks of training, but it was so close to the Austin Half, I was scared that the doctor wouldn't let me race, so I was going to leave it until after.  It was only a few weeks, how bad could it get? Granted, every step felt like I was stepping on a nail, but hey, no problem!

So when my IT band locked in my left leg during Austin trying to compensate for my injured right foot, I began to pay attention.  I have a relatively high pain tolerance (genetics says it has something to do with red hair), but this was something I had not experienced before, and I've given birth, and had kidney stones. Ironman would not be my reality this way, I needed to heal.  Still, I hesitated.  It wasn't until I could barely walk in the mornings that I finally broke down and saw the doctor.

The news was of the good/bad variety.  Plantar fasciitis in my right foot, but no heel spur (YAY, no surgery).  It was thought the pain was originating from my hip, so I was placed on full torture - I mean restriction.  No workouts...at all...for weeks...ARRRGGGGHHHH! My fridge had never been so clean.  Once I was released into PT, it was determined that it was not my hip causing the problem, so I was cleared to bike and swim. The stabilizer muscles in my foot and calf were weak, and for me to continue, they would have to get stronger.

PT is awesome, and Joey and Chris have been doing a great job of challenging me. I look at each exercise as a stepping stone to get me healed and back into training, so I attack them the same way I do my regular workouts. You wouldn't think such seemingly easy exercises would make you work so hard, but man, some of them caused me to say a lot of bad words (under my breath of course). The Bosu ball and I had an interesting introduction - sure, she looks sweet and innocent, but don't be deceived, she will chew you up and spit you out if you aren't paying attention. We have come to terms, and I can honestly say I have come to love working on it.

Mentally, it was tough going.  Fears and doubts ran through my head constantly: would my foot heal in time? Would I get my paces back? Is my dream over before it even began? Would the pain come back? Were those who said I would not be able to do this right? Over and over...

A couple of weeks ago, I was allowed to start running a little on the unloader.  It was a tough moment - something I wanted so bad, but at the same time, I was now confronted with reality. Having not run much for almost two months, I had no idea how my foot would respond.  I didn't let these fears show, because I really wanted to see if I could do it, and I thought if I expressed doubt, Joey would hold off on letting me try.  Running on the unloader is very different from regular running- you aren't carrying your body weight.  But at this point, I'll take it, I thought.

Last session, Joey told me that they had basically progressed me as much as they could - I'll most likely be released next week, and then just continue to do the exercises on my own in my gym workouts. The scarier news - in time for my runiversary, I would be allowed to start running again. Just three miles (which sounds like a blip compared to the mileage that I was doing before Austin, but I know I will earn that run).

Today it is four months to Galveston Half - my next step to Ironman, with Texas Full just six weeks later.  I am under no illusions; I have a ton of work to do to get ready in time. Fear toys with me, waiting for me to let my guard down and then smacking me upside the head with doubt. While my foot still has it's moments, and there is always a little pain, the nail is gone from my shoe, and I can feel those little muscles getting stronger. Thanks to my doctors, my PTs, and everyone's great advice, I think my foot is almost there.

Challenges make success taste that much sweeter.  This last quarter of 2013 gave me some of the biggest challenges of my life - physically, emotionally, mentally.  So I know that when I cross the finish line of each of my three races scheduled for this year, I won't focus on the time (well, yeah I will, but not JUST on my time), it will be more of how I came smack up against my fears, and I didn't let them have power over me.

Someone asked me what I would feel when I cross the finish line at Ironman.  Before October, I would have given a different response.  Now, I think I will feel....gratitude. I will feel grateful that God gave me the strength to face my worst fears, and allowed me to reach the first of my goals.  Ask me again in May, then I can tell you exactly what I felt when I became an Ironman.