Growing up on farmland, we were taught at a young age to be of hardy stock. You fall, you get back up - don't expect anyone to coddle you. I remember falling down the stairs of my grandmother's house and catching my wrist on a nail. It gave me a nasty two inch scar, but my mother washed it, wrapped it up and told me to go play with my sister - no doctor, no stitches, no tetanus shot. You had to be fairly close to death to go to the doctor.
So back in May, when a pain started flaring in my foot, it just made sense to me to ignore it, it would heal on it's own. Except it didn't. I stretched, I rolled it with a hard ball, I iced it - nothing worked. Going to the doctor just didn't cross my mind, even though it was said to me enough times. Turns out I'm kinda stubborn....go figure.
The pain was really bad during those last few weeks of training, but it was so close to the Austin Half, I was scared that the doctor wouldn't let me race, so I was going to leave it until after. It was only a few weeks, how bad could it get? Granted, every step felt like I was stepping on a nail, but hey, no problem!
So when my IT band locked in my left leg during Austin trying to compensate for my injured right foot, I began to pay attention. I have a relatively high pain tolerance (genetics says it has something to do with red hair), but this was something I had not experienced before, and I've given birth, and had kidney stones. Ironman would not be my reality this way, I needed to heal. Still, I hesitated. It wasn't until I could barely walk in the mornings that I finally broke down and saw the doctor.
The news was of the good/bad variety. Plantar fasciitis in my right foot, but no heel spur (YAY, no surgery). It was thought the pain was originating from my hip, so I was placed on full torture - I mean restriction. No workouts...at all...for weeks...ARRRGGGGHHHH! My fridge had never been so clean. Once I was released into PT, it was determined that it was not my hip causing the problem, so I was cleared to bike and swim. The stabilizer muscles in my foot and calf were weak, and for me to continue, they would have to get stronger.
PT is awesome, and Joey and Chris have been doing a great job of challenging me. I look at each exercise as a stepping stone to get me healed and back into training, so I attack them the same way I do my regular workouts. You wouldn't think such seemingly easy exercises would make you work so hard, but man, some of them caused me to say a lot of bad words (under my breath of course). The Bosu ball and I had an interesting introduction - sure, she looks sweet and innocent, but don't be deceived, she will chew you up and spit you out if you aren't paying attention. We have come to terms, and I can honestly say I have come to love working on it.
Mentally, it was tough going. Fears and doubts ran through my head constantly: would my foot heal in time? Would I get my paces back? Is my dream over before it even began? Would the pain come back? Were those who said I would not be able to do this right? Over and over...
A couple of weeks ago, I was allowed to start running a little on the unloader. It was a tough moment - something I wanted so bad, but at the same time, I was now confronted with reality. Having not run much for almost two months, I had no idea how my foot would respond. I didn't let these fears show, because I really wanted to see if I could do it, and I thought if I expressed doubt, Joey would hold off on letting me try. Running on the unloader is very different from regular running- you aren't carrying your body weight. But at this point, I'll take it, I thought.
Last session, Joey told me that they had basically progressed me as much as they could - I'll most likely be released next week, and then just continue to do the exercises on my own in my gym workouts. The scarier news - in time for my runiversary, I would be allowed to start running again. Just three miles (which sounds like a blip compared to the mileage that I was doing before Austin, but I know I will earn that run).
Today it is four months to Galveston Half - my next step to Ironman, with Texas Full just six weeks later. I am under no illusions; I have a ton of work to do to get ready in time. Fear toys with me, waiting for me to let my guard down and then smacking me upside the head with doubt. While my foot still has it's moments, and there is always a little pain, the nail is gone from my shoe, and I can feel those little muscles getting stronger. Thanks to my doctors, my PTs, and everyone's great advice, I think my foot is almost there.
Challenges make success taste that much sweeter. This last quarter of 2013 gave me some of the biggest challenges of my life - physically, emotionally, mentally. So I know that when I cross the finish line of each of my three races scheduled for this year, I won't focus on the time (well, yeah I will, but not JUST on my time), it will be more of how I came smack up against my fears, and I didn't let them have power over me.
Someone asked me what I would feel when I cross the finish line at Ironman. Before October, I would have given a different response. Now, I think I will feel....gratitude. I will feel grateful that God gave me the strength to face my worst fears, and allowed me to reach the first of my goals. Ask me again in May, then I can tell you exactly what I felt when I became an Ironman.
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