Perfect Timing

"If you keep waiting for the right time,

it may never happen.  Sometimes you

have to make the most of the time you have."

    We all know someone who has said it, or have said it ourselves: "It's just not the right time..."  Usually, this has something to do with the new diet, or starting an exercise program.  It's the holidays, or your schedule is too hectic, or those people are coming in from out of town...you get the idea.  We are generally very good at justifying why we can't do something at a given time.

   The best things in life tend to happen when you are least expecting it, or when you are not prepared for it (the wrong time).  That statement is true enough in my life, except for my daughter Hannah, who was kind enough to be due in the summer, allowing me to finish my school year.  

   Entertaining the idea of pursuing my goal of doing Ironman could not have come at a worst time.  I was working one full time job, another almost full time job, and a number of smaller jobs wherever I could fit them.  I was Senior sponsor at school, in charge of fundraising for trips and graduation, taking a distance learning night class, playing chauffeur for Hannah and all her activities, and was emotionally drained, just trying to make it day to day without a meltdown.  Everything was stacked against the idea, and there was nothing for it, other than this little voice in the back of my head telling me to go for it.  Like a gnat, the idea wouldn't go away, no matter how much I tried to justify it to myself it wasn't the right time. I tried hiding from it, under the excuse that I needed to wait. Wait, I told myself, wait a year, wait to be in better shape, wait until there was more free time.  Wait, wait, wait...it's not time.

     Honestly, I was afraid, and fear is this really high cliff in your mind.  The closer you get to challenging it, the scarier everything seems. I was afraid of making the wrong decision, afraid of how it would affect my life, afraid of injuring myself, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding. At the same time, there was this part of me that despite the fear, wanted this really bad, and no matter how afraid I was of it, I was drawn to it. At the same time I knew my life.  I could function within it, knew how to handle most of it and changing it meant adapting to something new without any guarantee of success. I had to make a choice - stick with the familiar or chance the new.  So I walked to the edge of the cliff in my mind, took a deep breath, and jumped.

  Things started falling into place, and at first, the change didn't seem so hard. Through a series of fortuitous events I met my coach, who owned a running shoe store so I had the right equipment, and had a running group to teach me how to turn my nemesis running into a life long passion.  However, while he and I sat down to formalize my training plan, it quickly became clear that there was no way I could do this and work the amount of hours I was.  Another fear cliff.  Cutting my hours meant taking away some financial security. It wasn't the right time...but I also knew that it would never be the right time, that there would always be some reason not to try.  It was the time it was, and I could grab hold of the chance for something great to happen, or I could let it slip and continue on the path I was on.  I went home and cut my hours to the bare minimum on my secondary job. While I was hyperventilating my way through a medium sized panic attack, I kept telling myself it would be okay.  The household would adapt.

   Things again fell into place.  I am not homeless, Hannah and I eat everyday, as do the dogs, except Bear is convinced I never give him enough. Race fees get paid, equipment is bought, and Hannah and I are happy. The fear was just in my head, trying to get me to quit.

    Training meant joining groups of people, and I was intimidated.  I was the newbie, the slowest, and had no idea how to keep up.  I was emotionally on empty. These people accepted me, and cheered me on.  When you have all these people surrounding you that believe you can do anything, it's hard not to start believing it yourself. I got faster, stronger, and began to have confidence.  Where I was empty, now I was full, and the favorite part of training with both my cycling and running groups is cheering my teammates on.  I have begun to make friendships that I know I can count on, and meeting so many people with diverse backgrounds is stimulating and motivating.

    When planning my major races for the next year, my coach tried hard to get me to wait two years before doing a full Ironman.  Logistically, it made sense.  I am older, we had no idea how my body would adapt to training, so taking it slow seemed like the right thing to do.  Except it felt wrong to me.  I voted for Houston 2014, and accepted the consequences of that decision - having to train harder in a shorter period of time, and hope my body would adapt, especially to the running.  And it has.  Monday I sign up for Houston.  Is it the right time? Nope, there are a lot of other races that would probably work out better for any number of reasons.  But it's my time, and I will follow through, even though there will be pitfalls and curve balls, fear and pain.  Because when I cross the finish line, what I will have gained will be so much more than I risked to endure.

    I'm now of the opinion that there is no such thing as a right time to make a change in your life.  If you make a decision with the conviction to see it through and chance failure, then things will fall into place to help you reach your goal.  Because that happens, we just think it was the "right" time.  Fear is created in the brain, the same place as happiness and joy.  Just depends on who you are going to listen to. You can wait for the "right" time or the "right" circumstances but what if it never comes?  Then you will have missed out on some of the best things that could have happened in your life because you were, well, waiting.