Musings of a Sugar Rush

Tonight was GNO, and I allowed myself a soft drink (gasp!).  So now, in the midst of a full blown sugar rush, I present to you what I have learned so far from training for triathlons - in no particular order:

1. Sometimes it is better to swim in murky water just so you don't know what's swimming under you.

2. Sometimes it is better to swim in clear water so you can try to avoid what is swimming under you.

3. NOBODY looks good in a swim cap.

4. If, when taking a breath, you get water in your mouth, never swallow it.  You don't know what the person in front of you did before you got there.

5. Nobody looks graceful while trying to take off a wetsuit quickly.

6. Make sure your feet are fully clipped into your pedals before starting high cadence.

7. Look behind you before clearing your nose while on the bike.

8. There is no topic off limits while on a training ride, so be prepared to hear some really personal and/or weird stuff. You are on the bike a long time, and you need to talk about something to forget how much you hurt.

9. No matter how long you have been training, your nether regions do not become calloused to the bike seat.

10. Gravity works - leaning over too far or looking over your shoulder is a sure fire way to find out how much road rash your body can tolerate.

11. Slow down on the bike coming into transition - the volunteers are not bowling pins.

12.  Know the difference between your front and back brake, especially when riding downhill.

13. For the first mile or so of the run, your legs will feel funny after coming off the bike.  Chances are, you will run funny too.  So will everyone else, so it's ok.

14. There is no such thing as a safe way of passing gas on the run - you don't know what else may happen.

15. They put the your age on your calf for a reason - so you can see who is ahead of you, and you can run them down and crush them before the finish.

16. It is a talent to be able to run and drink from a dixie cup at the same time.  If you haven't mastered it, walk or be prepared to be wearing it.

17.  Always save a little bit for the end so you look strong at the finish.  No one needs to know you were crawling the mile before.

18. It is the only time that talking to yourself is perfectly acceptable.

19. Plan to stay somewhere that has an elevator, or stay on the first floor.  After the race, a single flight of stairs may as well be Everest.

And, the most important.....

20.  Always, always, always, know where the cameramen are.  Plaster a smile on your face so everyone can be impressed with how strong you look.  You can throw up as soon as you are past them.


Sugar is starting to wear off, and my finger that I fractured today in a freak dreadmill accident is beginning to throb. 3 months and 18 days to the Half Ironman.  See you on the other side of the finish line!